A Lot can Happen in a Year

I forgot I had a blog and I don't know what got me me to open it again and read what I had written. It's been almost a year and a half since I wrote and I feel like I'm a completely different person. I went from not going to church to going to church every week, participating in weekly activities like Institute and FHE when I'm not working. I read my scriptures every night and I pray multiple times a day. Jessica from a year and a half ago would not be able to recognise me.

I feel like the title of my blog, "Trying My Hardest," means more to me now than it did when I started it. I was trying my hardest in the gospel and staying active in the church, but now I'm trying much harder in life. I got fired from my dream job for something that wasn't my fault, my roommate threatened to sue me if I moved out, I lost almost all of my friends and I'm in a spiralling depression and I don't know if I'll ever get out it. But despite all of these hardships I've held onto Christ and the iron rod harder than I ever have in the past and I know that's why I am still alive.

Orlando, Florida Temple

When I was suspended the first thing I did was go to the Temple. It was my friends first time doing Baptisms that night so a lot of the members in my ward were there and I had a lot of company. I started the night with clenched teeth, a heart in my throat and my eyes blurry from tears that kept threatening to come out. But by the end of the night I felt at peace and I knew the Lord was by my side and helping me through this.

When I got fired, the days leading up to me moving home, I went to the Temple every day. I promised the Sister Missionaries in my ward that I would go to the Temple and do baptisms on my own and I did. And it was wonderful. The peace that I got was unlike anything I'd ever felt and I know it was the Spirit helping me through this difficult time.

President Monson said in the April 2015 General Conference, "as we enter through the doors of the temple, we leave behind the distractions and confusion of the world. Inside this sacred sanctuary, we find beauty and order. There is rest for our souls and a respite from the cares of our lives." At this difficult time in my life, had I not gone to the Temple daily I would not have found that respite and I would have been stuck in my grief. In the Temple, worldly things do not matter. Only you and the Lord.  Isn't it great that we have a place where we can be so close to our Heavenly Father? We are so lucky that our Heavenly Father loves us so much that He sent us His only son and restored His church on the earth so we can be with Him again.

I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the Lords one true church. I know He sent His son to atone for our sins because He loves us so much. And I know that if strive to be more like Him and keep our covenants, He will bless us. I have felt it and I revel in the blessings He has given me, daily.